


they don't hate women; they're afraid

by thedorkygirl



Category: Original Work
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-01
Updated: 2019-08-01
Packaged: 2020-07-28 23:45:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20072584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thedorkygirl/pseuds/thedorkygirl
Summary: I want you to be afraid of me.I want feeling safe to be a luxury.I want you to try so hard to dismiss these thoughtsthat you make rotten choicesjust to show yourselfyou will not let Me rule You.





	they don't hate women; they're afraid

**Author's Note:**

> Written after my rape

My dearest sir,  
I want you to tremble when I near,  
your eyes to widen for my every detail.  
I want you to notice my shoulders,  
and my arms, and my hands, and how  
they could be tangled in your hair.  
I want you to mentally calculate my weight and height  
and reckon my strength.

I want you to bite your lip every time  
a strange woman asks where Market Street is.  
While you are waiting, single,  
for your friend to finish in the bathroom,  
I want you to tense as soon as I enter the room.

In fact, I want you to go to the bathroom  
in a herd of people. I’ll smirk at that.  
I want you, when it’s time to take out the trash,  
to wait until I’ve rounded the corner.  
I want you unable to explain these things to people  
until you to forget why.

I want you to be afraid of me.  
I want feeling safe to be a luxury.  
I want you to try so hard to dismiss these thoughts  
that you make rotten choices  
just to show yourself  
you will not let Me rule You.

I want to come back in those moments  
& remind you why you’re scared.  
You won’t be afraid, nothing so simple.  
You, sir, will be be scared -  
terrified - irrational - like a boy  
trembling under his quilt.  
You’ll find the monster  
in the closet and the horror  
under the bed is me.

Every time you touch yourself,  
please question if your desire is normal.  
I want to be POWERFUL,  
and PRIVILEGED, and OBLIVIOUS  
to your pain.

I don’t want to understand any of it,  
even if I say I do.  
I want you to hand me your confidence  
so I can take it and abuse it.  
Because I will not and cannot  
comprehend why you are afraid of me.

And when you lend me trust & credit,  
and I don’t steal it for my own,  
I want you to be so damaged  
that all the faith you can give  
is too scarred to work for us.

I want to be the good woman, darling,  
the one who could have loved you forever,  
and I want you to destroy it  
all by yourself.

I want to move on while you never will.  
I want to love on while you never can.

Stand up and man up.  
You are not a boy, and I am not a girl.  
You are a man, and I am a woman,  
and we have nothing to be afraid of.  
Cos, Mister, I may be an open book,  
but you don’t know how to read.


End file.
